outofcontextdnd:

Me: Roll over.

GM: The hedgehog rolls over. It’s adorable.

Me: Stay.

GM: You take a few steps away. The hedgehog remains where it is.

Me: Heel.

GM: The hedgehog heals you for 5 HP.

Me: Holy shit.

outofcontextdnd:

GM: The spirit explodes, splattering the janitor and immediate area with the mysterious substance.

Me (Janitor): Worth it.

GM: The puddles of mysterious substance throughout the store spontaneously combusts.

Me: I would like to retract my earlier statement.

thefatfeminist:

rossthenerd:

Some of the many funny Batman and Alfred moments over the years. BROTP.

"Leave the tray, please." 
Oh Bruce.
thefatfeminist:

rossthenerd:

Some of the many funny Batman and Alfred moments over the years. BROTP.

"Leave the tray, please." 
Oh Bruce.

thefatfeminist:

rossthenerd:

Some of the many funny Batman and Alfred moments over the years. BROTP.

"Leave the tray, please." 

Oh Bruce.

silly-little-dreamer-girl:

TWO THINGS HOW DID HE GET A PET INTO SCHOOL AND HOW DOES HE GET HIS TEACHERS TO AGREE TO DO THESE VINES

outofcontextdnd:

"The royal archmage can’t actually perform any magic. He just maxed out his Bluff and now he’s in way over his head."

outofcontextdnd:

So it’s a detachable weasel?

- The party on encountering my mage who was a disguise specialist.

(Source: ketchups92)

  • Clara: It looks like your handwriting.
  • Doctor: Well, I couldn’t have written it and forgotten, could I?
  • Clara: Have you met you?

wesker-is-hot:

troybakerrr:

You have a dinner date for seven pm. What time do you arrive?

image

Seven. Am. Case the restaurant. Run background checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not I gotta kill him. Dispose of the body. Replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30.

(Source: troybakerofficial)